Real-Life Communication
You are a school psychologist. You have been asked to assess a Grade
3 student. The eight-year-old child has been having difficulties in her class
during the last three months and has been disrupting her classmates.
Her
teacher is fed up, the child is miserable and her classmates are beginning
to dislike her. No one seems to know what to do and the child isn't making
any progress. If anything, she is becoming more disruptive and more withdrawn
from her friends.
The teacher has called you to request an assessment
with the child. But before you can administer any tests, you must get her
parents' permission.
You call Tuesday morning and speak to the
child's mom, Mrs. Holmes. As expected, she is upset, angry and a little
frightened to receive your news. Although she says she has noticed her daughter
is a little more withdrawn at home, she was unaware she was causing such a
disturbance in the classroom.
She agrees to book an appointment with
you for 10 a.m. the following day at the school. First she will talk to her
daughter's teacher. Then she'll discuss assessment options with
you.
The next morning, Mrs. Holmes knocks on your door. As soon as
she walks in, you know she is angry. Before you have a chance to say hello,
she starts spewing off that she is not an incompetent mother, that she had
no idea her daughter was having so many problems and that she doesn't
want her pulled out of this school.
The teacher had warned you that
Mrs. Holmes might be difficult, as they had had run-ins before. But you've
seen this reaction more than once from parents who are concerned about their
children's misbehavior in school.
As soon as Mrs. Holmes stops
yelling, you politely ask her to sit down so you can chat about her daughter's
problem. As she sits down at your desk, you run over a few facts in your mind:
- Keeping calm and keeping your voice low can soothe people who are upset
or irate.
- Often, parents who are faced with a child's behavioral disorders
are more scared than they are angry.
- Parents are often the last ones to find out when there's a problem
at the school.
- Behavioral disorders are fairly common -- nine times out of 10, they can
be dealt with in a few sessions.
Mrs. Holmes has quit yelling and has sat down on the chair in front
of your desk. You can see that she's still angry, but you think you can
calm her down by taking the time to communicate with her. What might you say
to Mrs. Holmes regarding her child's behavior?
Write down some
questions you might like to ask Mrs. Holmes so you know exactly what she is
upset about. Also write down a few suggestions that you might offer her so
she understands how you can help her and her daughter.